A Confession

With so many new experiences, I find it difficult sometimes to know what to share with my readers.

Sometimes, it’s a moment of weakness, a moment of excitement, or a moment of sorrow. Often, it’s a moment of hilarity.

I guess this is meant to be a moment of confession if that’s alright.

I was so excited to move here. I thought New York City would be the greatest place in the world. And, in many ways, it’s the most amazing city I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly the most interesting place I’ve ever lived.

But I don’t fit in here the way I hoped I would.

I will never care about fashion. I wear mostly black, sometimes dark colors and blue jeans. That makes up the majority of my wardrobe, next to my jean/leather jackets.

I like living that way. I don’t want to be the girl wearing six-inch heels on her way to work.

I don’t care about fancy food, either. To be honest with you, I don’t care much for the “rich” life at all. I can’t fathom why anyone would want to spend hundreds of dollars on a jacket when they could do so much good with that money.

For all of the these reasons, I spend a lot of my time alone, exploring, sometimes in Brooklyn and sometimes in Manhattan. Just last night, I was in Times Square and everything was closed. The surreal feeling of being in Times Square after everything is shut down and there aren’t nearly as many tourists roaming the sidewalks was utterly bizarre. But also liberating. Even the city that never sleeps needs a nap.

I have four classes, a part-time job, and constant homework. This doesn’t include basic chores, laundry, cooking, appointments, and the amount of time it takes to walk everywhere. I’m exhausted. And I’m lonely.

And I’m not sure what to do about it.

These are just some thoughts that I’ve been having. And I needed to write them down somehow. I thought that was important.

Thanks for listening.


Random Experiences: Part Three

Voodoo Dancing Guy 

It started with a bicycle on the side of the street with a sign on it that said, “I’m a poor musician. Please don’t steal my bike.”

It ended with me running from my French class to my English class and nearly running into said poor musician.

This guy was dancing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of Bobst with a mask on his face and a doll on his fingers. I’m pretty sure there was a man next to him playing the electric ukelele.

It was some of the creepiest music I’ve ever heard. In a different world, I’d be asking them to write the soundtrack for one of my horror novellas.

But right now, I had to get to class. So, to avoid walking right through the performance, I had to walk in front of four moving cars.

It was a good time.

If Monday Had A Face…

I had just gotten out of my two-hour lecture. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep.

I walked past this coffee house with a sign out front that read, “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.”

I turned around and bought some coffee.

A General Update

It’s been so busy.

College is no joke, especially when you find yourself working on top of a full courseload.

Let me try to update you on my classes. I’m taking a comp. class, French, statistics, and a history seminar.

I’ve been terrified of failing French for weeks now. In the beginning, my professor neglected to mention that no one has ever failed his class. In fact, the lowest any student has ever gotten is a B. So, basically, I’ve been quivering in my boots for nothing.

Did you know that, while my friends and roommates sleep on Friday mornings, I get to wake up at seven o’clock to attend a statistics recitation? It’s awful.

But, for the most part, I’m doing well in my classes. And that’s a huge plus. I mean, that’s the whole point.

Honestly, though, my favorite part of New York is my job.

I’ve met some really great people through the library. The staff incorporates a range of undergraduate students, graduate students, and graduates.

I think I’ve finally found somewhere I fit in. Let’s see if we can keep that going.

My Solo Adventure to Times Square

It’s been a stressful sort of week. That stress culminated in a very angry walk to Times Square. Times Square is on 42nd Street and 5th Avenue. I live on 14th Street and Broadway.

Apparently, that’s a 2.5-mile walk.

I didn’t really plan it. It’s not like I walked out of my dorm thinking, “I’m going to Times Square.” I just wanted to clear my head.

The walk was a major stress reliever. I got to Times Square, ducked into a place called Cafe Metro, sat in a window seat and sipped a Coke, trying to figure out what to do next.

This seems to be my version of going to a bar and drinking my problems away. Except without the hangover.

Some things you should maybe understand about me. Things I haven’t explained.

I’m pretty vanilla. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke cigarettes or marijuana. I don’t do any kind of drugs. That means I don’t go to bars or clubs. And, apparently, it means I don’t fit in with eighty percent of the student body at NYU.

I made that discovery this week when I was shamed and given “helpful advice” about breaking away from my family and “loosening up.”

So, I ended up in Times Square with no idea what to do next.

I settled on wandering around. My travels took me to the Broadway theatre currently home to Hedwig and the Angry Inch. A crowd waited outside for the stars of the show to make an appearance. We weren’t disappointed.

I ended up enjoying myself. When I finished at the theatre, I hopped on the R train and took it home. I would have walked, but I’d worn flip-flops. My feet were blistered beyond belief.

At least I’ve found somewhere to go when I’m stressed. It’s nice to have that.

Random Experiences: Part Two

“Jews Control The Internet?”

Every time I go to work, there is someone outside the library protesting something.

The last two picket signs have said:

“Google It: Jews Control The Internet!”

“Google It: Muslims Train The US Military!”

I’m not kidding. I wish I was.

Funyuns. Aren’t. Anywhere.

I’m serious. There aren’t normal chips anywhere in this city. When I go back to Howell in October, I’m stashing embarrassingly large amounts of Funyuns into my suitcase to bring back with me.