The Spring Semester!

What an insane ride this has been. I’m stunned, excited, and humbled by the support my readers have given me – especially those of you I’ve never met before.

I have so much to share!

I got to schedule classes for the spring semester today. I’ll only have class on Monday and Wednesday – and every single class is a lecture.

There’s no way to emphasize how happy I am about this. Not only do I get five days to myself, but I get to enjoy my favorite course-style.

I’ll be taking American Constitution, Journalism Ethics, Comparative Politics, and Investigative Journalism.

All short names, and all pretty self-explanatory.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be taking classes in which I have a genuine interest. After spending an entire semester struggling with French and wasting my time in statistics, I’m ready to focus on something that I’ll be able to use outside the classroom.

This schedule also leaves my week open for more work hours and exploration. Maybe I’ll actually start exploring the city past Midtown.

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Loneliness

In high school, everything was easier. My friends and family asked how I juggled so many activities and classes, and I could honestly say it wasn’t difficult. Everything was located in the same place, everyone gave me constant support. Piece of cake.

Here, it’s not like that. It’s lonely. And trying to fill that void seems impossible. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Loneliness keeps me from being productive. I’m so busy trying to feel like I belong somewhere, or like I’m wanted by someone, that I can’t focus on my work.

Maybe everyone goes through that when they start college in a different state. Maybe they don’t.

Last week, I was ready to pack up my bags and go home. The whole “once in a lifetime opportunity” idea becomes less potent when you don’t have someone to share it with.

I never realized how much I relied on my family and friends until I didn’t have them anymore.

The idea that this will get easier is hard for me. I’ve been told, quite condescendingly, that I should forget about my family entirely and immerse myself here – no matter what morals I have to break.

I don’t want it to get easier. Not like that.

I think I’ve realized how family-oriented I really am. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing more important in this world than family. Not the articles I write, not the posts I publish, not the stories I chase after.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Manhattan. I love this blog. I love the tall buildings, the road trips, the nightlife, and the educational value of NYU. I love the fast-paced insanity of the big city.

But is this home?

I don’t remember home feeling like this.